The feeling of being alone is something that I’m used to more than I used to be. And getting used to it is a hard process. I never felt alone before in the way that I do now. Progressing to certain point and then stopping and trying anything to keep awake and not house home the best possible way isn’t something I had considered. But there isn’t a path except that one you make for yourself and I can’t make path I can’t write the purposefulness that comes from relationships is missing even though I have my own purpose but I can’t tell from where I’m sitting if there is a way for me to find the best possible way to look for something I haven’t found yes and still it’s possible that I haven’t considered everything.
Feeling flesh and flesh is something looked forward to but it is something I can’t understand anymore. Do I need it or do I need to understand a way of getting people to agree with what I have decided is already the way things will go but they can change but won’t change hinges going back and changing things that didn’t appear as I was watching noun but I felt it in my fingers it is hardwired like the need not to feel like I do. A hearing of hardwired needs based on something no longer needed but missed because it is missing or because I tell myself it’s missing because the feelings can’t be interpreted without using those things that are already lost and felt to be lost but can’t be identified without the lost thing so the feelings and the thing are the same.